Fated

Somewhere behind
My heart stopped beating
Without forewarning

Somewhere in time
I left my feeling
Left my mourning

I would die if I could
I would
But I’m fated

I would cry if I could
I would
But I’m jaded

Not unaware
Physically there

Somewhere inside
My mind stopped seeking
Stopped believing

Somehow I find
Myself critiquing
The mess I’m leaving

I would scream if I could
I would
But I’m breathless

I would dream if I could
I would
But I’m restless

Not in denial
Just conscious on trial

Sometime I’ll try
To restart bleeding
Restart feeling

Sometime I might
Wish I were needing
Love’s appealing

I would stray if I could
I would
But I’m rope-tied

I would pray if I could
I would
But my hope’s died

Not in a trance
Merely dead in advance

Suddenly

Assimilating thoughts of mine
Conglomerating dreams enshrined
Don’t realize
I’m falling
Initiating wishful hope
Appreciating I could cope
Don’t realize
I’m stalling

Suddenly my sense has turned confusion
Suddenly amends become allusion

Suddenly I realize
That I don’t wanna know
Suddenly it comes to mind
That I don’t wanna go

Don’t want it to be you tonight
Don’t want to feel your face on mine
I tell myself these lies
And try to hide inside
My heart

That suddenly
I think
I might
Could possibly
Perhaps, maybe
Be Falling
Suddenly
For you

Illuminating hidden wants
Exaggerating empty flaunts
Don’t notice how
I’m falling
I’m complicating simple things
I’m solidating empty flings
Don’t notice how
I’m stalling

Repeatedly my thoughts have me deluded
Repeatedly my heart has been secluded

Suddenly I understand
That I don’t wanna care
Suddenly I’m outta hand
My mind’s not really there

Don’t want to be convinced of love
Don’t want to be admitting of
A feeling I don’t need
Emotions I can’t deal
With now

Cuz suddenly
I think
I might
Could possibly
Perhaps, maybe
Be falling
Suddenly
For you

Mirror

It’s a damn bitter taste
Of coffee overcooked
It’s a damn rotten waste
A beauty overlooked

Unnaturally real
The TV and its sound
Sporadically me
I throw my novel down

Mirror on the wall
Answer me in truth
Mirror on the wall
Tell me what to do
If my escape
Were to fail
Should my freedom
Skip bail

It’s a messy double bed
With misery asleep
It’s a stressy tired head
That hides beneath the sheet

A cold and empty room
Of memories passé
A dark and solid gloom
That’s settled on my day

Mirror on the wall
It screams at me in tears
Mirror on the wall
It’s silence rips my ears
With a shout
and a call
Am I hearing
at all?

It’s a cruel and gripping pain
That’s stuck inside my guts
It’s fooled and empty drain
That’s driving me all nuts

Intentionally fake
Allegedly aware
This bed I did not make
This dream I didn’t share

Mirror on the wall
It tells me who I am
Mirror on the wall
My life’s a single scam
It’s a fairy-tale lie
My heart’s breaking inside

Mirror on the wall
It sees my bags are packed,
Sees I heard the call
Am finding what I lacked
Now I’m closing the door
It won’t see me no more

Hating Love!

I’m dreaming
I’m screaming
I’m here can’t you see me
I’m weak

You're smarter
You're harder
You're tough cuz you're calmer
You're strong

I hate Love
It bruises me
It uses me
It makes me feel
So incomplete
Without you

I'm trying
I'm crying
I'm lost and I'm lying
To me

You're focused
You're noticed
You're cool and they know this
You stand

I hate Love
It grows in me
It knows that we
Completely feel
So "nobody"
Without it

I'm broken
I'm hopin'
I'm out in the open
I'm scared

You're standing
You're handing
Your list, you're demanding
You take

I hate love
It takes hold of me
Controls and sees
I Hate the way it empties me
So totally
Without you.

So...
I love you
But hate it
I need you
But hate it
It's useless
To fight it
I'm punchless
Can't hide it

Fuck love!